


time erodes the shore (but not our love)

by melancholyandserendipity



Category: THE9 (Band), youth with you 2, 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: F/F, Soulmate AU, bxqy and xinxue if u squint, imagine their hands from in time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24924520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melancholyandserendipity/pseuds/melancholyandserendipity
Summary: people are born with timers on their forearms, but nobody knows exactly what it counts down to until it actually reaches zero. yu yan and keni's timers are four years apart.or: i finally made a yani soulmate au
Relationships: Yu Yan/Zeng Keni
Comments: 15
Kudos: 77





	1. i met you at the right time

**Author's Note:**

> my first two fics ever were both soulmate aus and i didn't want to start writing yani with one but i always come back to this lmao. the format is yyy-ww-d-hh-mm-ss but pls dont overthink the timestamps.
> 
> im happy yuni interacted so im posting this today, stream HYLT!!!
> 
> also i haven't reread this so i might edit minor mistakes if i see them tomorrow LOL share ur thoughts w me in the comments <3

**018:04:3:14:17:08**

yu yan is only five years old when she asks her parents about it.

“mama?”

her mom smiles, “yes baby?”

“what do these numbers mean?” yu yan extends her arm, with a small sparkle in her eyes that her mother doesn’t miss.

“it’s a countdown baby! like the one’s we do before the fireworks start.”

“are there gonna be fireworks too when it becomes zero?” her mother laughs lightly, pinching her cheeks a little.

“i don’t know baby but it’ll be related to your soulmate”

it’s her first time hearing that word, eyebrows furrying in confusion. “s-soulmate?”

“yup. it’s like the person you will love the most.” yu yan’s eyebrows ease now, and then in sudden realization with eyes wide as saucers, “so like you and daddy!”

“exactly baby.” and that was enough for her to wait.

**006:33:5:06:53:21**

they’re on the school’s rooftop when yuxin asks her a question. it feels spontaneous, like how they found the keys to get here, but also sounds like something the other girl’s been holding in for some time. “d’you ever wanna rush the clock?”

“why?”

yuxin walks over to where yu yan’s lying down as she watches the clouds, sitting down beside the taller girl. “you really wanna be old when you meet your soulmate?”

“is 24 old for you?” yu yan playfully raises her eyebrow when she responds, but yuxin’s face is still tinged with fear.

“it is when a lot of our friends have already zeroed.”

“you mean shuxin and xiaotang are just lucky.” yu yan sits up to look at her directly. “are you worried because of xueer?”

“why couldn’t i have zeroed too when we had our first kiss?” yuxin says it with a sigh, running her hands through her hair before continuing, “i’ve been reading some forums online, some people’s dates are just horrible like—”

“shut up, it’s good to have dates at all. jiaqi and keyin aren’t as lucky.” it’s true, not everyone gets timers on their wrists. it might be liberating for some, like jiaqi. or inconsolably lonely, like zhuoyi for some time. there’s a lot of uncertainty that comes with a soulmate and there are people who worry about it like yuxin and people who are better at hiding.

whether she interrupted yuxin for her or herself, yu yan doesn’t know either.

“i don’t know but it’s just this feeling. most people get excited from the numbers going down, but when i look at my wrist, i get anxious and sad for no reason.”

the heavy silence that engulfs the rooftop is enough for yuxin to know yu yan understands, and she knows exactly what that feeling is.

**004:15:2:12:28:30**

they finally meet two weeks after yu yan’s 20th birthday, in a small art gallery downtown.

“good morning, i’m yu yan your guide for today.”

her eyes glaze around the small mix of hipsters and influencer wannabes of the day and that’s when yu yan sees her. tall slim body wearing a white blazer over a white crop top that annoyingly shows off her abs but it’s not until their eyes meet that yu yan’s heart stops beating altogether.

_what the fuck?_

it’s a miracle she still manages to string sentences together for the rest of the day because her brain forgets everything about art history when she looks at a certain woman. and that seems to be happening a lot.

“…and that’s it for the rest of our modern art collection! you can all roam around now and if you have any questions, feel free to ask me or anyone else with a name tag.”

she’s staring at a certain monet imitation when a tall figure stands beside her two feet away. “do you always stare at your visitors like that?”

“do you always wear inappropriate museum outfits like that?” yu yan gestures at her and challenges back with a small raise of her eyebrow.

tall woman raises her eyebrow back at her, “crop tops aren’t allowed in museums?”

“not if they’re…distracting.”

she actually snorts at what yu yan says, a playful smirk plastered on her face. “huh. can’t believe the museum guides make up rules like they’re art meanings.”

yu yan ignores the way blood rushes to her cheeks and rolls her eyes instead, getting ready to say something in defense and pretend like she wasn’t gazing out half of the time before someone gets smacked very loudly behind them.

yu yan turns around and recognizes the two girls who walked in with her this morning. “are those your friends?”

tall woman finishes mouthing things semi-angrily at the other two who were still snickering around. “yeah, sorry. it’s my birthday and they wanted to be pretentious but they’re actually children.”

“right. like you weren’t imitating medieval cats every ten seconds earlier.” yu yan remembers holding in her laughter twenty minutes ago and actually laughs along when the other girl starts giggling and doing another face. “they were so ugly!”

“and here i thought you were a group of instagram models.”

“oh god no, more like a circus actually. but you can definitely follow me at keni69980.” tall woman winks when she says the last part and it takes every last bit of yu yan’s willpower to not jump her right there.

“okay…keni?”

“yup, the really capable zeng keni.” keni reaches her hand out and _holy shit._ yu yan feels a surge of electricity run through her veins when their hands shake.

“i’ve been waiting my whole life for you, yu yan.”

**004:14:6:10:22:45**

they go out for brunch later that week after yu yan learns that keni’s a dancer/choreographer for a big entertainment company, that she has two adorable cats named after food, and that they actually went to the same high school. among several more things she’s learned over text in the course of just a few days.

it feels like the first meal yu yan will taste in her life, the first song she’ll sing to, the first film she’s ever going to see. zeng keni bludgeoned into her life so quickly and so unapologetically, occupying yu yan’s mind without needing to move a single finger.

keni must have noticed her spacing out, slightly raising an eyebrow from across the redhead. “yu yan? did you catch what i said?”

“sun rui trolling the scammer that texted her?” yu yan smiles to herself when keni nods and continues talking, _i can still multitask aha._

“isn’t it crazy how we never ran across each other in school?”

“to be fair, i was a senior and you were a baby.” keni can tell it’s something the other girl has been thinking about for a while now. “we had different circles too.”

yu yan nods absentmindedly, “but we both know jiaqi and zhuoyi.”

“i mean, who _didn’t_ know jiaqi and zhuoyi?” keni makes her chuckle from that, she’s completely right anyway. she also notices yu yan stealing looks at her left wrist every now and then, so keni looks at her wrist too before asking.

“did you hear it?” yu yan’s face knots slightly in confusion. “my timer?”

“no i—i felt it.” there’s a slight tint on her cheeks when she says it, like a little girl with a crush.

“you too? that’s amazing. but there was also a very loud click for me.” yu yan opens her mouth a little in genuine surprise for a second and keni thinks it’s cute. she’s probably wondering how it feels.

keni’s very lucky to have clarity now about her timer, but yu yan doesn’t have the same assurance, the same liberation. it’s probably still confusing for her. “y’know what my grandma used to say?”

“zeng keni stop being a dummy?” keni rolls her eyes but her smile betrays her, playfully chucking a fry at yu yan who just grins back.

“no she said, it doesn’t matter what moment the timer runs out to. there’s one sole thing our countdowns say that makes us very lucky for having one in the first place.”

there’s a chill that trickle down yu yan’s spine when keni looks her in the eyes, making sure she completely hears it when keni says, “i met you at the right time.”

**002:31:2:02:11:33**

on some days, life was ridiculously perfect. it was like the numbers on yu yan’s wrist didn’t exist and keni didn’t have a terrible work schedule and they were just _there._ ridiculously in love and _just living_ like one of those romcoms keni forces them to watch together.

yu yan drives them up to a hill where keni lays on the grass while eating her spicy strips and the other girl draws. she reaches out to play with yu yan’s hair (which is light brown now), but her hand grabs her wrist instead, grinning at the girl when she gestures at the timer.

“babe, two years until you fall in love with me.”

yu yan lightly hits her with a pencil but still ends up laughing a little, “idiot, i did that in the museum.”

keni’s cheeks redden immediately and she brushes it off with a chuckle. “didn’t take you for a love at first sight kind of girl. the abs really got you huh?”

“mhmm, it was more like love at first medieval cat impression.” keni breaks into a fit of giggles with a few light slaps at yu yan who just laughs, anticipating another weird face from her. she continues to talk about the food yu yan made for their picnic and the movie they’re going to see at the drive-in that night. yu yan’s already forgotten the title but will always remember keni like this, loud and free and sunkissed.

there’s a permanent glow on her face and the way the sun and the trees put little spots of light makes it hard for the other girl to ever look away.

“im obsessed with this” yu yan mumbles as she traces her thumb lightly over the other girl’s lips.

“have the curve of your lips always been this...perfect?”

her finger grazes over keni’s philtrum and she wonders, if she touches it enough, draws it enough, kisses it enough. will she never forget its shape? will she always remember how they fit right into her mouth or how it tastes?

_yes, you’re the only love i’ve ever known._

keni laughs a little before siting up from where she was lying on yu yan’s lap. she raises her left hand to trace yu yan’s lips the same way, and then— “only perfect when it’s with yours.”

**002:20:6:21:39:11**

on other days, life was ridiculously frustrating.

“can you stop whining please?”

keni takes her shoes off a little too aggressively before putting on slippers when they get home, “why the hell would you drag me out of xueer’s birthday party? none of us have early schedules tomorrow.”

“four shots in and you were already flirting with a guy!” the taller girl’s eyes widen in disbelief.

“what—are you talking about the fucking bartender?” keni lets out a frustrated groan and gets even more agitated when she sees where yu yan’s focused on again. “stop looking at your wrist goddamn it!”

maybe it’s the alcohol or how it’s been two years of this but something in keni doesn’t let up. “don’t tell me you chose to be a killjoy because of yuxin.”

“keni i—”

“she’s single and so what?! didn’t you see xueer in there flipping her hair and grinding on jiaqi like she never had a timer in the first place?”

“yuxin’s timer ran out when she fell out of love with xueer.” yu yan huffs indignantly and gives her an exaggerated eye roll. “do you even understand the problem here?”

“of course i do! but you feeling like you’ll stop loving me in two years doesn’t mean you should ruin the rest of the time we have, yu yan.”

something changes in the smaller girl’s face that keni doesn’t fully comprehend at the moment. “god, keni the more you say shit like this the more ill believe it.”

“believe what?”

“that you’ll fall out of love with me in two years.”

**002:20:6:12:46:21**

some days were perfect and some frustrating; but on most days, they’re okay.

keni wakes up to the smell of chicken and waffles, the soft singing being a good indication that yu yan thinks she isn’t awake yet.

she sneakily tip toes to the girl before gently placing a hand on the small of yu yan’s back, leaning down to rest her chin on her right shoulder. “i’m sorry about last night.”

“me too, i ruined it.”

“no you didn’t, at least i got to sleep long and not wake up with a hangover.” keni kisses her cheek playfully and sits down by the counter after. she claps her hand and smiles widely when yu yan places a plate in front of her, mumbling something about living with a child.

“hey, i know how you feel about your timer and i should’ve been there when you were going through it.” keni says it a little too seriously after a few seconds that yu yan merely responds with a quick kiss and a grin, and keni knows they’re okay. everything’s okay.

**001:00:0:02:11:27**

yu yan grips her right wrist with her left hand as it shakes in her seventh attempt to paint today. her favourite taylor swift album is playing in the background and the scent of lavender lingers in their apartment, but all she wants to do right now is scream.

it shouldn’t be bothering her this much. she should be working on her commissions, she should be setting the table so they can eat together and watch hunter x hunter after, she should just stop fucking worrying over this and forget it. instead, she feels the walls closing in on her and as if they were armed with knives, slowly burning into her chest.

how do you forget something that’s etched on your skin? something that is weaved into your future, your love’s future? 

it takes yu yan a whole minute to register that said love is already back home. long arms snake around her waist and keni presses a soft kiss behind her ear.

“hi baby, i brought our fave.” the sound of her voice makes yu yan’s heart ache, but in a much better way than before. keni holds her hand and they breathe together, tracing the patterns in each other’s airflow. she cups yu yan’s cheek and tells her to _focus_ , counting three full seconds until they let the oxygen out, and then again, and again, until yu yan drinks water and finally, she is here.

yu yan doesn’t have to ask why keni bought food from that vietnamese place with the nice auntie, or why she came home early today, even if they both know she’s not supposed to. some things are like clockwork, like how yu yan always leaves dinner for her on the table, and how keni always reminds her—

“you know i won’t stop loving you anytime soon right?” yu yan takes one last bite of a roll before putting her chopsticks down, slumping a little in her chair when she says,

“i’m starting to think it’ll be better if you do.”

“yu yan…”

“what else is there keni? first sight, first touch, first kiss, first fuck, we’ve done it all.” yu yan breathes in before letting out a long sigh of defeat. “we only have the last ones left. one year left.”

“you won’t lose me, yu yan.” keni says it with so much confidence that yu yan almost believes it, but there’s something in the air that lets her know she’s convincing herself too.

yu yan lets out a scoff and moves to the couch, eyebrows knotted together in doubt. “how could you possibly know that?”

“i just do. and how could you possibly know otherwise?” the other girl follows and challenges back with a tone that makes yu yan feel like a middle schooler.

so she gives her a pointed look like a middle schooler. “zeng keni.”

“we don’t have any control over this baby.” before she knows it, keni is grabbing her chin, turning yu yan’s head towards her. “what did you tell me when i was worried about the blackpink choreo i made?”

“you can’t do anything about their reactions. you’re already doing what you love, and you should focus on the things that make you happy instead.”

yu yan repeats it lazily, almost like a drawl. but keni still takes it as a standpoint, grinning at her a little. “exactly baby. why are you so bad at taking your own advice?”

“there’s absolutely nothing we can do about that timer. we’ve already had so many great memories, and we’ll make plenty more. i’m so _so_ in love with you, and i won’t ever stop.”

keni knows there’s no way to completely eradicate yu yan’s anxiety over her timer, and there’s no way she can change what’s destined for them either. and still, she tries so hard to help her forget in their warmest moments, and remember her love in the most devastating ones. “i love you too.”

“now can you focus on what makes you happy? we’ll eat more and make out _morer_ and forget about your damn wrist.” the taller girl takes yu yan’s chuckle as a win.

“…unless?” keni gives her a cheshire grin, and the ten-year-old is back. “what if ill get pregnant in a year oh my god, yu yan.”

“shut up, you big dummy.”

**000:03:6:08:45:22**

for some reason, jiaqi celebrates her 26th birthday in disneyland. in the chaos of ten something girls rushing to the bathroom after going on the wet rides thrice, yu yan finds jiaqi as the only other person who’s done in under five minutes.

there’s a small space on the bench they sit on and a big silence that precedes yu yan’s question. “don’t you get scared?”

jiaqi gets surprised by yu yan, not because of the timing but by how tiny she feels from where jiaqi can see her. “of what?”

“xueer—”

“going back to yuxin? always.” she finishes the question like yu yan didn’t actually need to ask. jiaqi would understand the insecurity in knowing how easily you can lose someone. somehow she gets it, even if she’s never had to deal with a timer. “but i know she doesn’t love her the same too. it’s our time now.”

“and they’re still friends, platonic soulmates exist, you know.” she says it with a chuckle, and yu yan shakes her head. _everyone knows we’re not like that, we could never be._

jiaqi hums a little, glazing over what to say and what to not say. “and you?”

“neither of us are going to fall out of love.” there’s a finality in her voice that sends a small shiver down jiaqi’s spine. yu yan doesn’t need any realization to the fact that the one thing she’s sure about in her life, is zeng keni.

“whatever happens, there’s only one thing left to do right?” jiaqi says it nonchalant as ever, carefree as everyone had known her but with an understanding of the world that has eluded yu yan before. “just love her harder.”

she wonders if she loves keni enough, if she begs for it enough, maybe they’ll be able to manifest some twist of fate. maybe she can shed a tear or two then the numbers on her wrist will go up and they’d all live happily ever after like one of those movies keni always cries for. yu yan’s mind sidesteps into the idea of cheating destiny, and knows she can only hope for the best. for keni.

**000:00:5:13:27:50**

yu yan wakes up with long arms draped over her waist and a neck buried in her neck, just like she always has for the past three and a half years. it’s what makes waking up so easy and leaving the bed so difficult for someone who only has one alarm. this is her _five more minutes_ , the way keni mumbles incoherent sounds and scrunches her noses slightly, only to go back to looking like nothing happened, the corner of her lips quirking up just a little.

she swore she never expected herself to be one of those people who look at their girlfriends sleeping, but she also swore she won’t ever watch twilight but look who sat through all five movies and three princess movies when _someone_ was getting really bad cramps.

yu yan lips curve up at the memory, tilting her head a little only to fully smile now, forming that trapezoid grin now. a small o replaces her mouth when keni’s eyes flutter open slowly, and yu yan feels the air rush out of her lungs.

“hi.” keni smiles back, still with sleep in her eyes, and moves her arm away from the other girl’s waist. she brings her hand up to hold yu yan’s cheek, warms hands meeting her face that breaks into a satisfied grin.

she closes her eyes for a moment, leaning into the dancer’s hand as she caresses yu yan’s cheek with her thumb. when keni speaks again she says the words like it’s the first time, like they’re sitting by the river again with their hands intertwined.

“you’re the only love i’ve ever known.”

“i know baby, you’re mine too.” yu yan says with ease. the tranquil nirvana of this saturday morning is something that goes beyond waking up nicely. she wakes up with an understanding of fate finally settling in her heart. keni runs her thumb through her cheek again, wiping a tear this time.

**000:00:0:02:13:50**

yu yan gets the call in the middle of boiling crawfish and she’s out of the apartment in under five seconds. lingzi receives the call on speed dial and yu yan leaves everything else to her, practically running to the hospital when the taxi stops moving in beijing traffic.

they’ve talked about this before, how yu yan shouldn’t drive or anything, how she should call lingzi first so someone else can call her parents, how keni was supposed to come home early tonight j _ust in case_.

_“xuan needs like another hour for her competition tomorrow, i’m sorry baby.”_

yu yan’s legs move on autopilot and her head barely processes what the nurse tells her when she gets inside. there’s only one person she wants to hear right now and that person got hit while picking up a goddamn umbrella for someone else.

_you’re always helping other people._

**000:00:0:00:09:57**

yu yan closes the door behind her as the doctors file out of the room after she showed them her wrist. it feels like everyone knows exactly what will happen, the air getting suffocatingly heavy and thick anywhere she goes.

she holds keni’s hand with a light grasp, running her thumb over familiar pale knuckles. she’s held this hand a thousand times before, kissed it a hundred times before, and yet it feels like a hand she has never touched in her life.

“you’re such an idiot, zeng keni.” yu yan says it like she means it, like it’ll make keni get up to smack her and whine about her annoying mouth. “what kind of cliché is this, getting hit by a car?”

“you’ve always put other people before yourself. can you do this one thing for zeng keni this time? can you live please, baby?”

**000:00:0:00:05:26**

“i swear ill get you a cat, i’ll paint you a hundred ugly cats, and a thousand cute ones. please, keni.” yu yan doesn’t even know what she’s asking for, will keni wake up from her pleas? will her timer stop moving? will she even hear what yu yan’s saying?

and yet yu yan doesn’t stop. “i met you at just the right time, i did. now i’m losing you at the wrong time, my timer is broken.”

“keni, it’s broken, can you hear me?” she grips the girl’s hand tighter, and holds on to the tiniest bit of hope she put into yu yan.

“please, you told me i won’t lose you.”

and then for the last time, “you’re the only love i’ll ever know.”

**000:00:0:00:01:43**

yu yan runs out of the room in three strides she almost doesn’t feel how the doctors also rush in when she leaves. her lungs are heaving and her eyes are burning, she’s reminded of water entering her nose, her ears, her mouth as the sea engulfs the room and yu yan no longer hears worried mothers frantically running about and doctors giving orders around.

she passes out twenty-four seconds before the last digit becomes zero and doesn’t hear or feel her wrist when it happens.

_tick._

* * *

she doesn’t know how many minutes have passed since then but she wakes up on a chair outside keni’s room and then she hears it, louder than anything she’s ever heard before. like a siren wailing in the middle of a busy hospital hallway, yu yan hears it.

_tick._


	2. be still my indelible friend, you are unbreaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keni centric!! the right aligned timers are hers =)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xu ziyin is the same age as dai yanni, dai meng, and keni here. everyone else maintains their real ages

**016:51:6:21:12:07**

zeng keni is only seven years old when she worries about her timer for the first time.

“what should i do grandma?” she approaches her grandmother timidly, sitting beside the woman on a bench in their small garden.

“about what?” she takes a small lily and places it behind the little girl’s ear, who smiles widely in return.

“i’m gonna be 24 when i meet my soulmate.” the older woman nods her head slowly, still with a soft smile on her face.

“what else is there to do? enjoy it.”

keni fidgets for a bit before speaking again, with her right thumb running through her left wrist softly, “isn’t it a bit late?”

“only if you think of it as late. do you know when i met my timer went off?” keni glances at her grandmother’s wrist for a second, looking at the twelve faded zeroes.

“i was already thirty years old.”

“really?”

her grandmother chuckles a little, amused at the little girl’s shock. “yes baby, and that was okay. i had my fun, fell in love with other people on the way, but i only settled down for your grandpa.”

keni’s eyes widen as a small gasp escapes her mouth, “is that allowed?”

“you can do whatever you want keni, and you can love your soulmate however you want.” she smiles at the small child before looking up at the sky, as if she was going back somewhere.

“the one thing that makes all of our timers the same is the fact that…” keni leans in closer, with a glimmer in her eyes as she listens. “we will all meet our soulmates at the right time.”

zeng keni was only seven years old when she worried about her timer for the first time. and it was also the last.

**010:00:0:02:46:13**

“good morning keni! happy 14th birthday.” dai yanni gives her a side hug when they meet in the school hallway, smiling brighter than ever.

it’s when she gives her a paper bag by keni’s locker that she notices, “yanni, your timer!”

“y-yeah it went off yesterday.”

a small o forms on keni’s mouth as realization strikes her, “really? how could i forget oh my gosh, how was it?”

“it was…surreal.” dai yanni closes her eyes for a moment as her lips curve into a smile. “and it was loud too, the timer.”

keni nods slowly as if she was waiting for something and dai yanni remembers what she left out, “…it’s xu ziyin.”

“the one who sings well in class B?

“yeah, really well.” dai yanni blushes when she says it, “her timer didn’t go off at the same time though, there are a few more years.”

“but?” keni asks, knowing there’s a continuation somewhere there.

“but i’m sure it’s her, it clicked when i saw her eyes.” there’s a warm smile on dai yanni’s face, and a glow keni has never seen before.

“wow…”

the other girl seems to remember something before her eyes widen a little, looking down at the floor. “sorry…if i talked too much.”

“what? no, it’s okay.” keni chuckles at her friend’s sensitivity, smiling widely when she says, “i’m waiting for the right time.”

**007:00:0:02:30:26**

ziyin’s timer zeroes three years later, and it’s the tomato shade of her face that gives it away when they ask her.

the five girls sit around keni’s dining table, eating cake at 7 am after they all so graciously woke up the birthday girl at 6 am on a sunday. when the yelling stopped and keni finally got to wash her face, she walks into dai meng asking ziyin about her countdown. and if ziyin’s cheeks being as red as the strawberry on her cake was any indication,

“oh my god, you zeroed when y’all fu—” dai meng stuffs a mouthful of rice in sun rui’s mouth, smiling at ziyin sheepishly while holding back her laughter too.

keni doesn’t miss how dai yanni winks at ziyin, making her blush impossibly harder. but as a better friend than sun rui, she’ll clown someone else instead. “you’re one to talk, sun rui. whose timer went off the first time she got punched?”

the youngest among them stands up to defend herself, “okay hold on. first of all, it was a light, cute, playful punch. two, it was the first touch kind of thing.”

“we’ve been over this, we brushed shoulders that one time in detention so it’s really the first punch.” dai meng pulls her back into her seat while the other three laugh, seemingly a frequent source of entertainment for them.

“and how would you even remember that?” sun rui turns to her soulmate, raising an eyebrow with a smirk on her face. “oh no, do you have a crush on me miss diamond?”

“don’t be disgusting, THREE.” the table erupts with laughter at the nickname while sun rui just sticks a tongue out a her soulmate and it makes keni wonder, _is this how i’m going to love my soulmate too? platonic, but still equally indelible as anything else._

_are you going to love me the same?_

**000:00:0:09:28:27**

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAG!!” dumb and dumber scream into keni’s face as she opens her unit’s door at midnight, rushing into her home with a cake and some gifts while mumbling something about leaving after they tell her plan.

the _plan_ turns out to be something ridiculous, again. “wear something smart tomorrow, but still cunty enough to secure the bag y’know?”

“sun rui!” dai meng smacks the other girl on the head lightly. “but she’s right.”

“what are you both talking about?”

“okay so we thought, what if you can control some aspects of the timer?” dai meng says it too seriously, like she actually believes it. “like if you go to a certain place like five minutes before it goes off, for sure your soulmate will be in the same place.”

“no, my soulmate will be in the same place because we were _destined_ to be there.” she gives both of them a pointed look, but nothing’s going to stop the duo.

“okay and? you can be _destined_ at the museum.” sun rui finally slips out where they’re going.

“why a museum?”

dai meng answers her this time, an excited look on her face. “so your soulmate can be sophisticated!”

“or pretentious.” keni deadpans.

“or rich!” sun rui succeeds in making keni chuckle, roll her eyes, and then slapping both of them lightly in one stroke.

the back of her hand hits daimeng’s left cheek a millisecond before her palm lands sun rui’s right cheek but the duo’s already cheering when keni says, “fine.”

when their museum tour finishes, sun rui huddles the three of them up. “okay keni since we’re already here let me give you the next instructions.”

“excuse me?” keni looks at her incredulously but gets ignored anyway.

“you gotta pick the right person as your soulmate.” sun rui says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

dai meng nods in agreement, “or else you’ll end up with someone like sun rui.”

“yeah—what?” she immediately frowns and meng just laughs, pinching her cheek a little before sun rui continues talking. “anyway, you know exactly what time it will go off so just go to the area where your ideal type is.”

“are you insane? you really wanna test your timer manipulation theory on me?”

“are _you_ insane? we know you’ve been staring at lieutenant redhead for the past hour.” keni doesn’t say it out loud but dai meng is right, doesn’t mean she has to win.

“she’s the tourguide!” keni exclaims a little too loudly, making a few passersby look.

sun rui rolls her eyes at her poor defense, “girl we are in a museum you’re supposed to look at the art.”

“yOu’Re SuPpOsEd tO lOoK aT tHe aRt” the tallest girl mocks, “says the ones who are giggling at half the work in this place.”

“anyway—” the two grin at each other when they say it at the same time, but dai meng quickly turns to keni after. “if you don’t go to where redhead is, we’ll just have to you drag you there.”

“do you really want us to cause a scene in this very respectable place?” keni rolls her eyes when sun rui finishes talking and walks away from her friends, suddenly very interested in a white square with just five black strokes.

of course keni’s attention span only lasts for a whole minute and her eyes drift away to her wrist which makes her blink twice, putting it closer to her face to actually confirm that—

“it stopped?” she surprises herself when she says it out loud, looking around quickly to make sure no one heard and sighing in relief after. keni stares at her arm a little longer, frowning a little before looking for two clowns and raising her eyebrows.

_well?_ dai meng and sun rui have very similar looks on their faces, a challenging look that keni knows all too well.

_fuck it._

keni walks a little indignantly she passes past her two friends who are pointing at a certain room of the museum. it shouldn’t be surprising for someone like her, but keni forgets all about her timer when she walks into the room, slowing down a little to silence her footsteps. she sees yu yan’s side profile as the redhead stares at a painting and her breath immediately hitches in her throat.

_how can someone look this ethereal, without even having to try._

and then with all the fake confidence she can muster, zeng keni meets yu yan.

(“ha! we did it!”

“you didn’t do shit, rice dummy.”

“you said your timer stopped!”

“that happened because i chose not to play with you two!”

“so you admit we _did_ manipulate your timer?”

“no meng, _i_ did.”

“either way, her soulmate is yu yan so keni wins.”

“excuse me, sun rui?”

“it makes me gag to say this but sun rui’s right. it would’ve been yu yan any other way, and i’m the luckiest girl in the world for that.”)

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 3 months**

in september keni realizes some rules don’t really apply to yu yan. when they talk about her having pink hair in high school and a full back tattoo by 16, keni finds it hard to believe the most disciplined person she’s ever met would dare _break_ rules on purpose. but it’s one of the things that makes yu yan so paradoxically interesting.

like how easy it was for her to bond with keni and her two clown friends, dai meng might even like yu yan more than her now. or how they both have very different schedules but still manage to fall into a routine of talking everyday, how normal couples would take years to do it but keni asks yu yan to live with her after three months.

“are you sure you’re not some heiress?” yu yan asks when she gets the last of her boxes into keni’s unit and finally takes it all in. “how long have you even lived here?” 

“oh i moved here just this year actually. and no we’re not rich, i’m just good at saving.”

“why?” keni’s silence and immediately flustered face says enough for the redhead.

“oh.” yu yan cackles a little loudly, “you’re insane.”

_i’ve been waiting my whole life for you._

keni pouts and turns her head away from the redhead. “no you.”

“i think it’s cute baby.” yu yan wraps her arms around keni’s waist before saying, “you’re the cutest, zeng keni.”

it doesn’t take more than three seconds after yu yan lets go that she cracks another one, “does this make me a sugar baby now?”

“shut up, asshole.” keni holds back a chuckle as she points at yu yan’s favourite part of the unit. “you better put this pristine kitchen to good use.”

they get _distracted_ after that so two hours later when they’re just finishing unpacking the redhead’s stuff, keni remembers something.

“there’s this kid chengxuan in my classes right now that i’m really fond of, i think I might take her under my wing to personally make sure she gets into the academy.”

yu yan’s eyebrows perk up when she hears the name, “what does she look like?”

keni thinks it’s a weird question but answers anyway. “she’s kinda short, with midlength black hair, and the cutest smile with this one tooth that’s like—”

“wang chengxuan?”

the dancer’s immediately shocked by yu yan’s interruption. “yeah! you know her?”

“i used to live with her.” that’s when keni lets out a snort and yu yan knots her eyebrows.

“oh my god, you’re lying.”

yu yan shakes her head before explaining. “no really, my parents were renting out the guest room for a cheap price because they wanted to support scholars from faraway places or whatever and so they found this really talented taiwanese girl who had dreams of being an idol and needed a place in beijing.”

keni’s mouth is wider than her previous shocked expression so yu yan chuckles when she says, “i didn’t know she was in your class.”

“this is insane.” keni isn’t shocked anymore, she’s beaming instead. “y’know we’re like fated right?”

“keni, you literally have a timer for that.” she says it so seriously, like she thinks keni forgot the past three months happened.

the taller girl shakes her head, smiling even wider. one of yu yan’s favourite things about keni is that she speaks with her whole body. so when she speaks again, she throws her arms around, gesturing to the two of them. “no but this adds on to it, we’re _meant_ to be.”

yu yan hopes the soulmate thing doesn’t let keni know the way her heart skipped a beat just now. “okay, you big dummy.”

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 6 months**

during one of those particularly chilly winter nights when keni and yu yan snuggle under a blanket to watch anastasia and frozen, the younger girl gets a phone call that makes her nervously pick it up. yu yan goes to the kitchen and keni tries not to hear hushed whispers.

“yuxin…her timer went off.” yu yan she steps back into their room with her head down and disappointment palpable on her face, “she realized she didn’t love xueer the same anymore.”

“i—baby that’s…”

“god keni, their timers were six years apart.” she says it with a kind of despair that doesn’t need any more explanation for keni to connect the dots.

“i only have four years to love you.”

“you have this lifetime to love me, in any way you want.” keni’s words echo through the room like gospel. yu yan nods with her whole body, her whole heart. as she nuzzles into the taller girl’s neck, keni knows she understands. they have this whole lifetime for their love, and the one before this, and the next one too, and everything in between.

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 1 year**

they’ve only finished putting away the groceries when keni tells yu yan she wants to go bike by the river.

“aren’t you tired from going to the supermarket?”

“aren’t you tired of being a hag?”

yu yan chuckles a little before rolling her eyes. “you’re four years older than me, dummy.”

“your point?” keni raises an eyebrow and gestures at her torso, a retort too stupid for yu yan to entertain.

“okay, fine.” the dancer grins at her then she’s out the door in five seconds, leaving yu yan to smile at nothing again.

they take turns cycling and riding at the back, until keni makes them stop just to pet a cat and yu yan feels like her heart will leap out her chest any second now. she sits on the grass beside where keni is and reminds her that they have people coming over for her birthday dinner, but keni’s playing with this cat who keeps jumping over her outstretched legs and yu yan thinks _how did i spend twenty years without this?_

the cat jumps into yu yan’s lap this time and surprises her, making keni giggle and yu yan fall even deeper. their friends are going to be at their unit in two hours but the sunset is too pretty and yu yan is too beautiful and keni thinks, _you are exactly what i waited for._

“hey baby?” keni holds her by the chin when she says it, voice saccharine and the sunset reflecting in her eyes, “you’re the only love i’ve ever known.”

yu yan wants to say she loves her, or that the sun has no use now that she’s here; yu yan wants tell her the same thing, but she can’t yet. “why are you suddenly being like this, zeng keni?”

“i just thought i needed to tell you.”

yu yan smiles back at her, thinking of all the ways keni deserves to see, and hear, and feel love. “okay, remind me again tomorrow.”

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 2 years, 3 months, and 21 days**

it’s the last day of september, six days after yu yan’s timer date, and keni finds herself going through forums at 2 am. she doesn’t even know what she wants to find, moreso what she doesn’t want to find. but keni thinks of soulmates whose timers are years apart and people who forget their love or get another timer or die. keni thinks of sun rui saying her brother’s friend knows someone in russia whose timer zeroed and then changed, and it’s so fucking farfetched but it’s _something._ and keni needs something.

keni thinks of how little time she has, they have; and how yu yan deserves so much more. yu yan deserves the whole world and the numbers on her wrist are going to destroy that, keni’s going to destroy that. she thinks of how maybe distancing herself from her soulmate can change things, like they did in the museum, but keni knows she’s incapable of that too.

there must have been some kind of assumption that she was quietly breaking down in the living room but it gets screwed over when yu yan walks towards her hunched figure with a cup of tea and her lion stuffed toy.

“do you wanna talk about it?” keni shakes her head so yu yan just sits beside her, lion still in her hand. with one outstretch of her arms, keni leans in immediately and sobs. somewhere in between keni grabbing her stuffed lion and yu yan fixing them to a more comfortable position, she starts humming. and then she sings.

_ill leave a light on for you_

_in the darkest of the nights_

_when your pulse is racing_

_and the world won’t make you run_

yu yan runs her hand through the other girl’s hair until she feels her breathe more evenly, remembering everything keni’s done for her during days like this.

_and it’s been forever_

_i don’t wanna wait too long_

_now that we’re together_

_i won’t ever do you wrong_

_so lay it all on me_

when she finishes the song and yu yan knows the last thing keni heard was her voice, she prays that keni keeps her in her dreams.

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 3 years, 8 months, and 7 days**

after her mother jokingly yells at her for being useless at the kitchen, keni huffs in protest and tries to take yu yan with her to the backyard, but the matriarch shakes her head again and yu yan just shrugs. her soulmate says something in support of her mom while her sister bullies her again. keni leaves the laughing women with a pout on her face as she heads towards their yard.

“hey” her older brother greets as she settles into the chair beside him. “not helping with the jiaozi?”

keni shakes her head with her arms tucked, making her brother chuckle. they’re just watching her nieces and nephews play around, making bets with money they haven’t even received.

it’s when one of her brother’s kids come by to playfully ask for his red envelope that keni remembers something after seeing his arm. somehow the air’s already thick when her nephew runs back towards the other kids.

“i think yu yan’s timer, it’s my…” she doesn’t really have to finish it for her brother to understand what she wants to say.

“how sure are you?”

“i can feel it.” he hums in response and keni doesn’t really know if he believes it.

there’s a silence that hangs in the air but it doesn’t bother her that much, she wouldn’t know what to say either. “what are you gonna do?”

“what else is there to do? ill just have to enjoy the time we have left.” he smiles at keni with pride, and resists the urge to call her waipo.

“yeah. and don’t let it destroy her.” her brother glances at yu yan who's playing with the kids now with a gentle smile on her face. “she’s not as strong as she wants people to think.”

keni laughs a bit, but then shakes her head and smiles, “she’s strong enough.”

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 4 years, 2 months, and 19 days**

jiaqi’s birthday didn’t end at Disneyland, hosting a party at her penthouse later that night that keni’s sure had like 109 people at least. being a rising fashion designer really has its perks, keni thinks. she’s feeling a little woozy from dancing so she goes out to the balcony for some air, sighing in relief when she finds lingzi.

“hey tongtong.” keni lazily slings her arm over lingzi’s shoulder when she approaches.

“are you okay?”

she lets out a sigh before looking up at the night sky, “yknow it’s next month right?”

“is it selfish to want more time?” lingzi furrows her eyebrows when she says that.

“no, you’ve always been optimistic about the timers.” she looks into keni’s eyes before looking at the stars again. “fuck the universe.”

it makes keni laugh, so lingzi smiles too. “you shouldn’t speak like that, after the universe gave you—"

“that’s not the issue here, keni.” the younger girl’s cheeks are a pink tint now, making her take a sip of her beer. “maybe some timers aren’t right after all.”

“pfft, you’re not even talking about yan’s.” the taller girl cackles again when she remembers a memory. “you were so impatient with yours! remember when you and jiaqi—"

“SHOTS! KENI COME IN HERE.” and lingzi’s saved by the bell, or sun rui’s loud yelling actually.

after way too much patron keni finds lingzi near the kitchen this time and spots a blue-haired goddess in the crowd. “tongtong oh my god who is that? and more importantly is she single?”

“that’s yu yan, and no she’s not.” lingzi frowns a little while trying to hold the taller girl upright.

“noooooo” keni dramatically closes her eyes and looks for a wall just to slide down on it, making lingzi laugh a little before saying,

“you’re her girlfriend, nini.” that’s when keni shoots up in a second and claps, smiling widely before making her way to yu yan.

when keni does find yu yan, she immediately wraps her hands around her neck and leans in, prompting the other girl to blush furiously before smiling and taking her to the guest room that the Weak Girls claimed.

she’s looking for a water bottle in their room when keni speaks. “yu yan promise me.”

yu yan finally finds it and goes over to the other girl whose pinky was raised as she lies like a starfish on the bed, “okay dummy, what is it?”

“you’ll let yourself l-love again.” keni says it with a lopsided grin, and yu yan wishes she was as drunk as her right now.

“no.”

keni whines when yu yan answers her, curling up a little and running her feet like a child on the bed. “what? yu yaaaannnnnn.”

“drink water.” yu yan pushes the water bottle into her hand, a sharp look on her face.

“pinky promise first?” the taller girl pouts and raises her pinky again, and if she was asking for anything else yu yan would’ve given in.

“no.” keni groans again but drinks the water anyway, mumbling something about remembering in the morning and making her promise, before she drifts off to sleep.

(keni doesn’t remember in the morning, but yu yan does.)

**000:00:0:00:00:00 + 4 years, 3 months, 15 days, and 9 hours**

in between heavy breaths as they finish dancing for the day, keni’s eyes roam the studio for the last time. she’ll miss it, she thinks. the freedom she has when she dances, the thrill of creating something new every time, the kids who come in everyday with a certain glint in their eyes. “hey xuan.”

“yes, keni jiejie?” the younger girl had just finished gathering her stuff, looking up at keni from where she was sitting on the floor.

“y’know i only have about three hours left right?” when she says it chengxuan immediately stands up, opens her mouth, then closes it again. even when she’s frowning and obviously worried, keni still found her adorable. _no wonder she has a soft spot for you._

“should i walk you home?”

“no oh my gosh. don’t be sad, it’s okay.” keni actually laughs a little at her suggestion, as if taking a marshmallow with her would change anything. “can you promise me something though?”

“of course jiejie.” chengxuan smiles at her softly, so keni smiles back when she says,

“take care of yu yan for me.”

“you don’t think she can take it?”

keni pats her on the head in an attempt to erase her furrowed eyebrows, “i’m sure she’s strong enough, but i need you to make sure.”

“how are _you_ sure jiejie?”

“of what?”

“that this is the end?” it’s just above a whisper, but it’s a deafening question for both of them.

when she looks at chengxuan and keni’s melancholy reflects in her eyes, she also sees the tinest speck of hope. “maybe that’s the best part of it actually, i’m not.”

**000:00:0:00:00:00**

_tick._

_tick._

yu yan shoots up from where she was lying down, hurrying to find the doors she ran out from before. she doesn’t waste time before slapping her hands on the door repeatedly, prompting a nurse nearby to almost run to her.

“ma’am? you can’t go in there right now.”

“you don’t understand, my soulmate is in there.” yu yan ignores the pain from her hand and the nurse beside her before he grabs her hand.

“please, i think you should calm down ma’am.”

“don’t touch me!” she swats his hand off and glares. “don’t you have any policies on soulmate rights or some shit?!”

it’s kind of a miracle he hasn’t pissed his pants from the way she’s staring him down. “we do but we should maybe sit down first—”

“yu yan?” and finally the lion is tamed when she hears that familiar gentle voice. keni’s mother walks towards her and immediately pulls her in for a hug, worry emanating from both women. lingzi carefully rubs her shoulder before noticing something.

“yu yan…your arm.”

and lo and behold, there on yu yan’s arm are the numbers that drain all the oxygen from the hallway.

“what the fuck?”

**048:21:4:12:02:11**

when yu yan says it she almost screams, like her voice wasn’t loud enough. she glances at the two other women, as if to make sure she wasn’t the only one seeing this. and then, yu yan cries.

somehow the nurse manages to help them to a more secluded waiting room, that it’s almost a private one. yu yan’s drowning in her tears and uncertainty but at least she hasn’t zeroed and that’s everything to her right now. it feels like hours until a nurse comes in to tell them that the patient has woken up and they all shoot up in a second. the two other women share a look and tell yu yan to go ahead, smiling with tears in their eyes and sighing in relief.

when she walks into that room again she takes a few steps before stopping a few feet away from the love of her life, a scared unbelieving look in her eyes. she doesn’t know if she should hug keni or kiss her or even talk to her but the other girl beats her to it.

“w-who are you?” and that’s when yu yan’s heart drops. she stares at keni blankly and thinks maybe, maybe this is really what she gets. but that’s not really what either of them deserve. “i’m just kidding baby, come here.”

keni laughs until it reaches her eyes, sounding like a seal and sticking her tongue out at yu yan until the younger girl settles into her frail outstretched arms. “you’re the biggest dummy alive zeng keni.”

“ _your_ biggest dummy alive.” she pulls away and has the audacity to smirk, “didn’t i say you wouldn’t lose me?”

“shut up, you had no idea this would happen either.”

“you’re right, it must’ve been your special magical tears.” keni can’t believe it either, but she remembers how they met, and sun rui’s russian friend and how— _some rules just didn’t apply to yu yan._

keni grins and raises both hands to cup yu yan’s cheeks and pinch them, “aww you totally did, look how red your eyes are!”

“is it because you have a crush on me?” keni feigns surprise and laughs, “that’s so embarrassing, yu yan!”

it’s yu yan’s favourite sound in the world. so she rolls her eyes and smiles back even wider, “you really are a waste of tears. you’ll be my crush for… 48 more years”

keni doesn’t think she can joke around for any longer now, with yu yan’s face enough to form the tears in her eyes, so before it turns into a flood—

“hey baby?” her face turns serious this time, and there’s only one thing that echoes in the room, and in their souls, “you’re the only love i’ll ever know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this explained the ending of the first chapter properly HAHA let me know your thoughts and if you wanna see other stories from this universe like jiaqi or xueer or ziyin etc. (i actually deleted some parts of this chapter bc they were unnecessary for the yuni story but they were building ziyin and yanni's life a bit)


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